Your Secret is Safe with Me
Everybody has secrets, and I mean everybody! Even if you are a very ordinary, transparent, and nothing-to-hide kind of person, guess what? You still have secrets; they're just not yours, but you carry and protect them nonetheless.
Do you think knowing other people's secrets makes you a powerful person? Do you enjoy knowing something about somebody's life without them knowing that you know? I think it sucks. Why do I need to know something that potentially could ruin someone's life? Why should I have that kind of power anyway?
I think the most difficult part is when you know a secret about someone you deeply care about, and you are constantly worried about what is going to happen to them if others find out. You know what? It's not your battle, and people have been getting through these shitty situations literally from the Adam and Eve era.
And then there are secrets of yours you keep from people you love because you know they can't handle them, and this is your way of protecting them. Do not listen to these self-help, feel-good, be-authentic advice out there. Trust your gut, and stick to what you think is right because the last thing you want is to manage other people's emotions on top of everything you are going through.
Now, if you are keeping a secret from them that is about them and not knowing it is actually doing them harm, and you are scared of telling them because you think they might get hurt and you don't want to face the consequences? Now, that's chickenshit. It is not for you to decide what they can handle in their own lives; you have control over yours, but you don't get to decide for theirs. Who are you? Their moms?
Sharing somebody else's secret to score points with people? That's just fucked up, and you need to figure out what is wrong with you that you need to violate other people's privacy and jeopardize them to have "friends." And what kind of friendship are you building? That's the real question here. Have you ever asked yourself whether that 5-minute popularity is worth all the pain you might cause someone? If the answer is yes, you need to get a life!
If you have one or two people in your life who you can share your secrets with and you know they're going to keep them safe, you are super lucky! Don't get greedy now and think you need to expand. And if you don't have anybody you trust enough to share your secrets with, that's what journaling is for if you can't afford a therapist, or you don't believe in therapy. Just be careful where you store those notes because the last thing you want is someone confronting you with written proof about something you never wanted them to know. Your honour, I present exhibit A.
Life without secrets would have been boring, don't you think? Your reaction might be, "Oh, that's easy for you to say; if you'd been hurt by this, you would have never said that." Well, you couldn't be more wrong. I have been hurt by this many times, but at some point, I came to peace with it; c'est la vie! You will never know everything about people as they don't know about you, and that's just part of the deal. Take it or leave it.
#PostSecretSeries